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Dec 3 / safegirl

Stalkers Are Not Always Obvious

Safe-girls,

Today’s post is to highlight the dangers that may be right in front of your eyes, without you even realising.

A week before I launched Safe-Girl, I met a guy who I thought was wonderful. He was really into me, and I was extremely flattered. It is only now that I look back, I realise he was a bit too intense. I had tried to set him up with a couple of friends of mine, before I realised his attentions were on me, and they have since told me they found his behaviour odd, as he was too full-on. But I ignored the signs and fell completely head over heels. I quickly moved in with him, taking my four princesses with me, and trusted him with our lives.

The relationship gradually became mentally and physically abusive, and it is only now, a few months after I got out, that I have discovered that this guy has a history of stalking. He had hacked into my email accounts, and I now know he did this to other women in his past. He stalked his ex for years, taking my beautiful children with him, in his car, to sit outside her flat. He left hundreds of dead flowers outside her house.

Three other women have come forward and said that he stalked them. And most disturbingly, I discovered that he had stalked me even before I met him. I had lived with this guy, and he had helped me plan my business, taken care of us, and I believed, loved us!! I had always thought I would recognise a stalker or odd behaviour. I didn’t, and I never thought this kind of thing happened to women like myself. It is not always as obvious as you think. It can be subtle. You can be living with your stalker and not even know!

I am glad of this experience as it has made me even more aware of the importance of carrying a personal alarm at all times. I carry a DUSK on my bag, a PEBBLE keyring, and a mini foaming defence spray, wherever I go. My four daughters carry a heart alarm when walking to and from school and going into town. It is always better to be safe than sorry!

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