‘Step Away’ Door Wedge Alarm

I posted a photo of our fabulous ‘Step Away’ door wedge alarm on Instagram earlier today and have had an overwhelming response and lots of orders, as well as a few questions.

It seemed logical to write a little post detailing the personal alarm further and I have added a little video so you can see the alarm in action.

SafeGirl’s ‘step away’ door wedge alarm is ideal for frequent fliers, college and university students and anyone who is uneasy about staying solo in a hostel or hotel room.

Simply jam the alarm under a door to make it harder to open, and if an intruder tries to force entry, you (and hotel staff) will be alerted with an ear-splitting alarm.

Usage: Turn the slide switch on the base to “ON” position; product is on stand-by. Alarm activates when swing cover swung in approximately 1.5 degrees. The alarm will only be switched off by turning the switch to “OFF” position.

130 decibel alarm (as loud as a military jet aircraft take-off from aircraft carrier with afterburner at 50 ft)

Off to uni?

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How quickly is this year going?

I can’t believe it will be September soon and my babies will be back off to uni and college.

We’re still enjoying our lazy mornings and day trips but soon it’ll be new stationery buying time. And mine are all being packed off with a Pack It Student Safety Gift Set 

Currently only £19, Pack It makes the perfect gift for students and travellers. Stay safe and have peace of mind with this gorgeous safety kit.

‘A stylish pink hold-all, containing

‘I Scream’ personal safety alarm

Pack of 2 ‘Not In My Drink’ rape drug testing coasters (4 tests)

‘Step Away’ door wedge alarm

Safety Tips booklet

Is Personal Safety An Outdated, Anti-feminist idea?

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I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching recently and pondering my stance on personal safety.

Having always considered myself a feminist (I was brought up on the belief that if we consider men and women as equals we are feminist – surely we all should be then?) I am particularly interested in the increasingly popular idea that instead of telling women to avoid being harassed, maybe we should tell men to stop harassing?

Yes – I know men are abused, harassed, raped too! But the facts are that 20% of women in England alone have experienced sexual harassment, compared with 4% of men, and over 98% of perpetrators are male, so for now, please indulge me.

The glaringly obvious personal problem I have with taking the view that we, as women, should carry on regardless, taking no safety precautions, and expecting all sexual predators to stop, is that I would go out of business. Women’s Safety is after all, how I survive.  But beyond that, I am a mother of four daughters. Do I feel comfortable allowing them to just go for it? Give up their personal alarms? Walk alone down dark alleys? Accept lifts from strangers?

My answer is a definite no! In an ideal world, of course we wouldn’t have to worry about how other people are going to behave towards us. Whether or not our drink will be spiked by a rape drug. And I really don’t bow down to the idea of changing the way we dress, or the advice by the police to join a running club and not go running alone. That would be my idea of hell – trying to keep up with other joggers and without my earphones!

Yes, the emphasis should be on controlling the would be assailants, rather than victims (male or female), and the advice to not go out alone, or not wear certain outfits is beyond outdated.

But anything more radical and gung ho seems to be throwing all caution to the wind and in my eyes, a little irresponsible.

There always has been, and always will be, a threat to women, AND to men, in the form of other, ill-intentioned people. So surely a few cautionary adjustments in the form of being aware, carrying a rape alarm, and only using licensed taxis, are more common sense than a big step backwards for women’s rights?

That’s my thought anyway?

 

Does Rape Culture Exist?

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According to Wikipedia, ‘Rape culture is a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalised due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.  Behaviours commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, slut-shaming, sexual objectification, trivialising rape, denial of widespread rape, refusing to acknowledge the harm caused by sexual violence, or some combination of these.’

But does it really exist, or is it just some propaganda invented by extreme feminists in a bit to shame men as a whole?

The statistics certainly seem to show a lack of understanding when it comes to consent.

A survey for Amnesty found 37% of respondents thought a woman was responsible for being raped if she didn’t say “no” clearly enough.

One in 20 men said they would try to have sex with someone who was asleep, according to a shocking 2010 survey of young people aged between 18 and 25 by the Havens, the specialist London-based sexual assault referral centres. A significant proportion also seemed confused about what constitutes rape: only 77% of young men agreed that having sex with someone who has said no was rape. While in 2009, a study for the NSPCC found a third of girls aged between 13 and 17 who were in relationships had experienced unwanted sexual acts, and one in 16 had been raped.

I think it’s important to realise that just because you aren’t a rapist, doesn’t mean you aren’t contributing to society’s attitudes towards rape, whether you agree that a ‘rape culture’ as such exists or not?

We laugh off rape jokes like ‘No means yes; yes means anal’ as harmless fun. Nobody actually got hurt, right?  But are we trivialising rape and endangering women?

We slut-shame. I watched an episode of ‘Love Island’ last summer, with my teenage daughters, and found it interesting that one of the participants was anxious to get her point across that she wasn’t a ‘slag’ in this modern age, and that she had had a fair few sexual partners, and why shouldn’t she? Nobody bats an eyelid when it’s a guy. More interesting was despite her repeating her empowering message a few times, and my daughters all agreeing, 20 minutes later watching the same episode, they were shouting at the tv about another female contestant who had moved on to her third guy in as many days, using the very insults we had all just condemned.

Later as the programme drew to its dramatic conclusion, ensued a fair few remarks on the women’s choice of attire,

‘She looks like a slag with her tits out like that. What does she expect?’ and so on. We’ve all contributed to rape culture by calling someone else’s dress “slutty.” We’re validating the people who say that women “ask for it” when they wear revealing clothing or have many sexual partners. Rape is rape regardless of your choice of clothing, or of how much consensual sex you have participated in.

Christin Bowman, a PhD candidate for critical social-personality psychology at CUNY, says we contribute to rape culture “when we create school dress codes for teenagers because apparently the natural female form is ‘distracting’ for male students and teachers.”
Apparently, women must present themselves in a way that caters to the male gaze.

Another way we contribute to a rape culture is body-shaming, and in my own experience, women are the biggest culprits. We put each other down instead of building each other up. We judge each other harshly;

‘Her bum looks too big in that’, ‘she has no tits’, she’s too fat to be squeezed into that dress’.

These kinds of proclamations promote the idea that, again, women’s bodies are there to be judged and consumed. And once a woman is seen as an object (particularly a sex object), it is much easier to commit violence against her.

We victim-blame. When women are being raped and assaulted, government, police and public figures say ‘women, change your behaviours… do something different’. Don’t go out alone, don’t go out after dark, don’t wear earphones, dress in this way.

Why are women supposed to change their lives and their behaviours for sex offenders? Shouldn’t we be telling rapists not to rape? The only thing that causes rape is rapists. Not how much women have had to drink, not what they are wearing, and not if they are walking alone.

Victims aren’t reporting rapes because they are worried that they might not be believed, that they might be blamed, that they may be dragged through the mud, that a conviction might result in a six month jail term out of a possible 14 years (Brock Turner).

Our society is not a friendly place for victims of rape. And until we dismantle rape culture and make it one, rape will continue and rapists will get away with it.